Fancy a Cuppa? How Themed Tea Parties Became a Space for Belonging, Inclusion and Wellbeing

Ramitha Nittore Ramnath, Founder Themed tea parties, MSc Organisational Psychology Student, The University of Manchester

What if one of the simplest ways to get students talking was not another survey, workshop or presentation, but a cup of tea? That was the idea behind Themed Tea Parties.

It started with a simple observation. University can be full of people and still feel incredibly lonely. As an international student, I know that feeling. You can walk into a busy room, see hundreds of students around you and still wonder, “Where do I fit?” I wanted to create a space where conversations could happen naturally. No presentations. No complicated agenda. Just people, tea, a theme and a table.

And then something interesting happened. People started talking.

So, what exactly is a Themed Tea Party?

Themed Tea Parties are small, informal gatherings built around topics and experiences that matter to students. Each gathering creates an opportunity to explore issues that can sometimes be difficult to discuss in more formal settings, including belonging, homesickness, mental health, women's empowerment, money and the cost of living, disability and neurodiversity, grief, identity, careers and sustainability.

The concept draws inspiration from afternoon tea, a traditional British social and hospitality tradition centred on gathering, conversation, shared food and taking time to pause. However, Themed Tea Parties intentionally move beyond the traditional interpretation of afternoon tea. Rather than simply recreating a British celebration, the initiative reimagines the tea table for modern higher education, transforming it into a welcoming space where students, staff and communities can meet, listen, reflect and explore the experiences that matter to them.

The format is intentionally simple. We create a welcoming table, provide refreshments and introduce conversation prompts around a chosen theme. Students can sit together, talk, listen or simply enjoy a cup of tea. There is no expectation to speak and no pressure to share anything personal. Everyone can participate in a way that feels comfortable to them.

The tea might bring people to the table, but the conversation is what keeps them there.

Why a table?

I began to think differently about what we mean when we say student engagement. Universities have many established ways of listening to students, including surveys, consultations, student representatives, committees and feedback forms. These are valuable, but they do not necessarily work for everyone.

Some students feel confident speaking in a meeting. Others might hesitate to raise their hand in a crowded room. Some are comfortable completing a survey, while others would prefer to talk through their experiences with someone who is willing to listen. There are also students who want to share their perspectives but may not know where to begin or whether their experiences will be understood.

A cup of tea can be a surprisingly good starting point. It creates a familiar, informal reason to sit down with someone, without the pressure of feeling that you have come to a formal consultation or that you need to have the right answers.

The smaller size of these gatherings is part of what makes them meaningful. Rather than asking students to speak in front of a large audience, a conversation around a table of five, six or ten people can feel more manageable. Students have more opportunities to contribute, listen to different perspectives and build connections at their own pace. For someone who feels uncomfortable speaking publicly, simply listening can be a first step towards feeling included.

Being smaller does not mean thinking less ambitiously about student engagement. It means recognising that participation can take different forms. Sometimes, a quiet conversation can reveal an experience that might never appear in a feedback form. Sometimes, meeting one person who understands can make a student feel a little less alone.

These gatherings are not a replacement for formal feedback mechanisms or institutional action. Instead, they can complement them by creating additional opportunities for students to share experiences, raise questions and feel heard in a more relaxed setting.

And sometimes, the most meaningful conversations happen when nobody is trying to make them happen.

Belonging is not the same as fitting in

One of the biggest lessons I have taken from this project is that belonging is not the same as fitting in. We can invite students to societies, events and activities, but that does not automatically mean they feel they belong.

For me, belonging is about feeling that there is somewhere you can show up as yourself. It is about being able to participate without feeling that you have to change who you are, hide an aspect of your identity or prove that you deserve to be there.

Themed Tea Parties became one small way of creating that possibility. I have watched conversations move from awkward introductions to laughter, shared experiences and students discovering that someone else is going through something similar. A topic that might initially feel difficult to raise can become easier to discuss when people realise they are not the only ones thinking about it.

These moments have reminded me that inclusion is not only about inviting people into a space. It is also about considering how that space feels once they arrive, whether they can participate comfortably and whether their experiences are taken seriously.

The initiative has also reinforced something important for me: students should not only be invited to participate in existing university structures. They can be designers, creators and partners in shaping the student experience.

That means listening to what students want to talk about, recognising the barriers they identify and involving them in decisions about how activities are designed. Rather than assuming that one format will work for everyone, we can create opportunities for students to help shape the spaces in which they participate.

This is something I would carry into any future student engagement project. Meaningful engagement begins not only with asking students to share their views, but also with being willing to learn from them and act on what they tell us.

What have I learned?

My biggest lesson is that student engagement does not always need to be bigger, louder or more complicated. Sometimes, it needs to be smaller.

By smaller, I mean creating spaces where students do not have to compete to be heard, where participation is not measured only by how confidently someone speaks, and where a conversation can matter even if it involves just a handful of people.

A small gathering will not solve every challenge students face. A cup of tea cannot remove financial pressures, resolve barriers to accessibility or replace the support universities need to provide. But a thoughtfully designed gathering can help people start conversations, recognise shared experiences and identify issues that deserve wider attention.

For me, Themed Tea Parties have been a reminder that the way we bring people together matters. The environment we create can influence who feels comfortable participating, whose experiences are shared and which conversations are given space to happen.

The project has also shown me that student engagement does not have to begin with a finished plan. It can begin with curiosity, a willingness to listen and a simple question: What matters to you?

Now, put the kettle on

I still do not think tea can solve every challenge students face. But I have learned that sometimes a cup of tea can open a conversation that a form never could.

Perhaps the next time we think about student engagement, we should ask a slightly different question:

What would happen if we stopped asking students to come to the table and started building the table with them?

Put the kettle on. The conversation might be just beginning.

Find out more

Explore the Themed Tea Parties website to learn more about the initiative, or visit the Themed Tea Parties Toolkit for resources to help you create your own themed conversations.