Relational competence: the human heart of inclusive learning

By Lauren Flannery, PhD student and Associate Professor, The University of East Anglia

When I began my PhD alongside my academic role, I expected to think critically, write analytically, and plan strategically. What I didn’t expect was to feel so deeply. Sitting in classes again as a student, I became acutely aware of how it feels to belong, to be heard, and to be met with genuine curiosity. These experiences reminded me that learning is profoundly relational. Inclusion, at its core, is not just about access, it’s about connection. 

My doctoral research explores teacher–student relationships and relational pedagogy in higher education: how the quality of these relationships influences engagement, learning, and wellbeing. Increasingly, I’m drawn to the idea of relational competence; the capacity to build, sustain, and reflect on meaningful relationships that support learning. While it’s a familiar concept in professions such as speech and language therapy or social work, it is still emerging in higher education discourse. Yet, in a sector that aspires to inclusivity and belonging, relational competence may be one of our most vital and undervalued skills. 

Learning to see from both sides 

Occupying both staff and student identities has been unexpectedly illuminating. As a lecturer, I am used to designing learning experiences, anticipating barriers, and curating psychological safety. As a doctoral student, I have re-experienced the vulnerability of asking questions, navigating expectations, and seeking affirmation that my voice matters. The shift in perspective has prompted a deeper empathy for students’ emotional landscapes, those quiet moments of uncertainty that can so easily go unseen. 

These parallel experiences have shaped how I teach. I am more attuned to the power of small gestures: remembering a student’s name, pausing to check in, or acknowledging when learning feels difficult. These moments may seem minor, but I believe they communicate value, safety, and trust. They are, I think, the building blocks of relational competence. 

From theory to practice 

In my teaching on the pre- and post- registration healthcare modules, I have tried to make relational competence visible and a point of discourse. For example, students might be exploring their own leadership through tools such as 360-degree feedback and reflective writing, but the deeper learning happens when they consider how they relate to others, how they listen, respond, and create space for difference. Many comment that the process feels ‘humanising’ and ‘transformational’.  

Similarly, through my ConnectEd podcast and Heart of Teaching FutureLearn course, I’ve had the privilege of talking with educators and practitioners about the small, everyday acts that nurture belonging, asking not only what students think, but how they are. These conversations reinforce that inclusion is not achieved through policy alone, but through presence, how we show up for one another in the classroom and beyond. 

Relational competence is therefore not a single skill, but a stance: an openness to reciprocity, humility, and self-reflection. It asks educators and students alike to be intentional about the spaces we co-create and the power we share. 

The human part of inclusivity 

Much of the conversation about inclusive education rightly focuses on systems, curricula, and access. But systems are enacted by people, and people shape climates of belonging through the relationships they form. If we want to move beyond performative inclusion, we must attend to the relational aspects of learning, how it feels to participate, to risk, and to grow in connection with others. 

Developing relational competence requires time and courage. It involves tolerating discomfort, listening deeply, and valuing emotions as sources of insight. It also requires institutional recognition that the human work of teaching and learning, which is often invisible in metrics, has intrinsic educational worth. 

A call to re-humanise learning 

RAISE’s focus on partnership offers a hopeful framing. Partnership, after all, is the practice of relational competence. It is where inclusivity becomes embodied, where trust, respect, and shared purpose transform learning from transaction to relationship. As both a student and an educator, I am convinced that the most inclusive classrooms are not necessarily those with the most sophisticated resources or technology, but those where everyone feels seen and safe enough to contribute. 

Inclusion begins, quite simply, with presence, and with the courage to connect.  

Author bio: Lauren Flannery is a PhD student and Associate Professor at the University of East Anglia. Her doctoral research explores relational pedagogy, teacher–student relationships, and inclusive practice in higher education. She also leads the ConnectEd podcast and “Heart of Teaching” FutureLearn course, promoting relational and values-based approaches to learning.